Won’t look down, won’t open my eyes

Love yourself

Because at the end of the day you are all you have. You are your backbone. Nobody else is your rock, YOU are your rock. You live with you, and you die with you. How you deal with situations, how you deal with people is all down to how much love you have for yourself. I’m not talking narcissism and vanity. I’m talking self respect and always putting yourself first. And I don’t mean always putting yourself first in a selfish way, I mean knowing when to walk away and when to go with your gut instinct – being reflective. Does this person deserve a second chance? Does this person deserve a second of my time? Should I do this? What will the consequences be? How much do I really care? I’ve seen way too many people blame themselves for shit other people have done and to be affected by a breakup or any kind of rejection in a bad way.

Before I continue, Id like to reiterate that “love yourself” is COMPLETELY different to being stuck up and not caring about anybody else.

When I learnt to love myself, my perspective on everything changed and I was happier. I go where I want, I do what I want, if I really want something I WILL BUY IT RIGHT THAT SECOND, but it’s okay that I do that because I’m not an idiot about it. The best thing is I don’t let anybody throw me off. People do hurt me but that’s okay; I know what I deserve, and I know what bullshit is worth dealing with and what isn’t.

Loving yourself DOES NOT mean becoming a heartless bitch, that’s stupid as fuck. About that “I’m heartless because I once cared too much” bullshit. Where is the strength is that? You are weak as HELL if you follow that, because all it proves is that you let somebody else change you. You let somebody else make you cynical and stupid and you are just a product of their shitty ways, you reacted just as another person would. If you treat me like shit well FUCK YOU. Ima forget you and keep doing me, Ima be nice to other people and continue with my life like bruh BYE I’m not changing anything for you lel you mad.

Sometimes the bullshit is worth it and you have to accept that you’re going to get hurt at times. Don’t live a life with an attitude that distances you from other people, where you’re really just depriving yourself of the essence of life. Life is about mistakes and being hurt and pissed and all that other shit, it’s not about total happiness. That isn’t life, that’s a fantasy that you’re never going to get. It’s an unattainable goal and you’re depriving yourself of the raw, real feelings of living by trying to achieve this because you’re a snob and you think the world owes you happiness. The world doesn’t owe you shit. God doesn’t owe you shit. NOBODY owes you shit. It’s all on you.

When you love yourself, the only person who can hurt you is you. And in my opinion, the worst way you can be hurt is when your head tells you something your heart doesn’t want to hear, and vice versa. That shit hurts more than what anybody else could ever do to you. Because it’s completely up to you to make the decision, it’s in your hands. It’s like Russian roulette because all you can do is make the decision. You don’t know the outcome, just that its either black or white, and there’s a chance you could figuratively die…er like your spirit. Your happiness. Etcetera. But there’s one important thing that completely separates it from Russian roulette (unless you are actually in a situation where there’s a chance of you being killed) – if you make the wrong decision, just go back and make the other. You learnt a lesson. Forget bad memories, but keep the lessons.

Take everything in life as a lesson. I would say learn from other peoples mistakes, but nobody ever does that and yet we constantly prove that we should. Love yourself so that when you give anybody your time of day, they need to appreciate it. Love yourself so that you know the right way to treat other people. Save yourself from unnecessary unhappiness. You need to love yourself so that your happiness is in your own hands, nobody else’s.

NOBODY CAN HURT ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION YO

Run towards your goals. Keep running, because the only other option is to crawl. Only slow down for those who are trying to keep up. Then take their hand and let them run with you.


Now playing: Chandelier – Sia

Note: This hasn’t been edited. I literally just wrote this, going to hit publish and sleep. Sorry about any grammatical errors. Peace. 

 

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2 thoughts on “Won’t look down, won’t open my eyes

  1. onomatopoeicbliss says:

    Do not edit this. There is no need.

    I would concur on everything, except. . . When faced with a heart vs head, ALWAYS go with head. ALWAYS.Anyone who tells you different is just to weak to do the right thing, and they think they will feel better getting you to take easier route.

    Sleep well😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • kkamilah says:

      Thank you!! (I actually read this comment before rereading what I wrote haha).
      I agree, but sometimes you can’t help but go with your heart even though you know its probably the wrong decision 😦 [That’s when you learn from that mistake and trust your head next time]

      Liked by 1 person

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