Finding out that I’ve got the guts to say anything

Hi

Long time.

So the burden of semester two is actually drowning me in waters I have still barely dipped my little toe in. How do I go from reading 3 books per four months to reading 4 books per week? Its crazy. I hate reading, I hate writing I hate pretty much everything. I don’t even possess the energy to create a second world to roam around and escape this shit one in, I’d rather just sleep. The real poison of studying something you are passionate about is that you become so sick of it that you can’t even find escape in your hobby because IT IS NO LONGER YOUR HOBBY. Still, I wouldn’t dare deviate from this path, it’s just so tiring trying to sharpen the lines of it. I’ve hit a rough patch, is all. But I have decided to force myself to read books I love again in order to gain inspiration, but whilst I’m wrapping up the ones on my reading list, I’ve taken the time to leisurely browse through what other minds are vomiting out onto their blogs.

So, after doing a little blog stalking in a semi-fruitless attempt to cure my writers block/84 year hiatus, I’ve finally been able to articulate a reason as to why I haven’t been able to write any prose or poetry of any sort. The main reason is obviously because I lack time and motivation, but that isn’t the reason I’m going to dwell on right now because it depresses me.

Out of the few female blogs I visited (not fashion or political ones), they all had poetry that said pretty much the same thing. That being, more or less, “I am the girl your mother warned me about. You can’t handle me. You’re still looking for me in every girl. Because I’m not like the rest. You could have had me but you lost me”

And I cringed so hard. Like DAMMMMMMMMMMNNNN originality, where art thou? That kind of stuff was cool to read a long time ago but it is way too overused, and I cannot fathom why there exist some amateur writers who haven’t realised this. That stuff has been done. Ended. Finished. It’s no longer cool to be different. It’s not quirky or unique, it’s annoying to tell everybody you’re different because you’re really not a special snowflake. I am annoying and bitchy like every other girl, and I am different in my own way, again just like every other girl. It’s weird how even in this day and age, people don’t realise the irony in claiming to be different to every other girl/guy…..if you are truly not like every other girl/guy, you honestly don’t need to say it. Not because you’re trying to prove a point, but because you’re too busy being your own person to be small enough to compare yourself to anybody else. You’re acknowledging your superiority to this petty shit without being an arrogant dick about it because you ARE superior to that petty shit. Ain’t nobody got time for that. But anyway, back to my point. I’m worried I’ll write something embarrassingly cliche as the work above and that is honestly the LAST thing I want to do… unless I’m satirising of course……

Nonetheless, I’m happy to say I’m back and no more long breaks this time.


Now Playing: Guts – All Time Low

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