Each days a gift and not a given right

Death is a curious thing.
We constantly chant that life is too short, yet we act as if we are immortal. We have hearts full of things  unsaid, yet we wait until our time is up to confess. We wait until it is too late. Why must you spend your life as though there are no consequences for what you do, and in your final hours you weep to the people you didn’t spend enough time with and you beg and plead God to forgive you and give you another day to repent? Why must you follow your head, telling you to do the ‘right’ thing until you are dead, letting your heart suffer so terribly that it kills you and those around you? Did you always believe you were guaranteed a tomorrow? Was your faith so weak your entire life – did you not truly believe?  Or did you simply think you would never die?

When I am in my final hours, please leave me be. If you were not there right up until the end, don’t you dare decide to appear when I am on my death bed. If you did not make me feel like my life was worth living, you don’t get to see me at the end. Petty condolences and regretful confessions will mean nothing to me – in fact, I will not want to see you. I already know who I would want to be there, and they are people I know would be there. Don’t come to see me, spend that time praying for me in the privacy of your own home if you truly care. Nobody needs to know that you did the good deed of travelling to come and see my pallid face, I do not need or want to be surrounded by acquaintances and people who did not care when I was alive. I never want to hear a confession, an expression of regret, I never want to hear anybody being regretful of the little contact we had. It will mean nothing to me. I’ll only have people to reminisce with and laugh with about what we were doing yesterday until the second hand ticks down and I’m gone.

Spend your time with those who love you and never let them go, choose your friends wisely, leave nothing unsaid, quit that job that you hate so much, leave the country that has nothing left for you, and if you have faith then act like it. Most importantly, follow your damn heart and have a little faith in those who believe in you. You’re not guaranteed a tomorrow.


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