Today I finished a gruelling essay that, although made me want to die, I really enjoyed writing. The subject I wrote it on is something I am extremely passionate about and the only reason I regret not starting it weeks ago is because if I did, I would have had more time to to completely destroy whoever is marking my work (unless they’re voting Britain First…in which case they’ll fail me instantly). But I’m lazy, and that took control of me. So I have a bone to pick with those people who talk shit about those of us who study arts subjects at university. You know – literature, philosophy, religion, theatre, music, photography, social sciences etc.
First of all, let me just tell you that I study English literature, and I never struggle to meet my word limit, as I always have way too much to say. To all those who groan at the thought of a boring or difficult module sneering at us arts folk; who are you to deny us studying what we are passionate about? I’m sorry that you’re so bitter at studying a subject you felt compelled to study, envious that you didn’t or don’t have the freedom or skill to study what you both enjoy and are good at. I’m sorry you are passionate about nothing. Your jealousy is showing. The people I know who study a ‘prosperous’ subject (sarcasm) have always, at some point or another, complained about it. As in genuinely found it boring and couldn’t wait for it to be over. I’ve never met an arts student who feels that way about their subject. And don’t get my whinging twisted – I hate university, not English literature and the thought of never studying another book again makes me a little upset…I’m probably going to do it in my spare time. That I’ll have lots of. Because I won’t have a job. Or I’ll have school holidays off. Because of my degree.
That was a joke, but you probably didn’t get it because most of you think that an arts degree will land you either no job, or a career in teaching.
Bitch I can do anything I want. Remember, a specific degree will have you seeking a specific job to make up for the horrible years spent studying for it. English students…friends, don’t listen to the miserables. Our options are vast. Maybe we won’t be earning the big bucks at first, but at least we didn’t waste four years of our lives bing miserable. We study what we enjoy. We want a job that fits our skills, and we’ll spend a few years studying to make those skills better. Whilst enjoying it. Why you gotta hate?
Secondly, don’t watch TV. Don’t watch movies or go to the theatre. Don’t listen to music. Don’t read blogs, books, magazines or newspapers. Especially don’t watch movies that were adapted from books, don’t you dare ever talk about Harry Potter. Don’t go to art galleries and museums, in fact don’t go outside just in case you feel like taking a photo. Don’t try to describe love, don’t use metaphors even. Just sit in your room and write numbers all day, telling yourself you’re doing this for the greater good of mankind. I don’t want to live in a world without culture, poetry and books. We need doctors and engineers, but what’s the point in a surgeon saving your life when there’s nothing left to enjoy in the world?
You provide the means to live life, and we’ll provide the reasons to live it.