25 ‘Deep’ Questions. Apparently.

You know what’s annoying? I have the TV on right not – Peston on Sunday – and my mum just said “If you’re gonna watch the TV can you slow it down”. Why do freshies do this? Instead of “speak quieter” it’s “speak slowly”. Why.
You know what else is annoying? When I tell someone I’m “unavailable tomorrow because I’m going to have a stomach ache”. How dare you scoff. Of course I know, I’m a woman. We know precisely what day we’re going to be bloated, tired, bitchy and bleeding.

Anyway I notice that I blab a lot on here but you don’t really know anything about me. Aside from I am opinionated, annoying, and rant too much. But here I have found 25 not-so-boring questions which I answer in an attempt to tell you something about myself without telling you too much at all. Because honestly I’m not doing this for you. I’m literally here trying to find something out about myself. It calms me.

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? 

If you asked me this 4 years ago I would have said both because I can’t look anybody in the eyes. Eye. Which eye do you look at? How do you people look at both eyes at once, don’t your eyes go funny? And because I never told anybody how I felt. Anyway, alas, there is now a person whose eyes I can and long to look into. Neither. But if I had to pick, the former.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? 

Honestly I can’t distinguish which of my anger is angrier than the rest. Each time I get angry it just seems to be more intense than before. And since my resting emotion is anger, I can’t tell you why specifically. Right now I’m angry at myself for being awake because I’m so tired and my back hurts.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? 

I mean I wouldn’t even be on that flight in the first place. Me, in Honolulu? If I can wear a hula abaya, I’m there. Anyway.
If i’m on a flight, I’d already be sitting with the person I’d call. I guess next would be my house phone but my grandmother takes about 10 minutes trying to distinguish who’s on the other end and by then I’d die on the phone to her, which is a little traumatising. Probably call my dad, but he has two phones and what if I call the wrong one and he’s on a business call on the other? And then I die and he feels guilty? My mother doesn’t even know where her phone is 80% of the  time, I’d be dead by the 17th ring. I’d probably call Buttface and ask her to relay the message of my death to my family. Tell them I’m ok, be good and inshallah I’ll see you in Jannah.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? 

Why are these questions so negative? Not helping. Honestly, I’ve thought about this before and I decided each time that I wouldn’t tell anyone. Because I’m petty. You should always be treating me as if I have a month to live and if I die the day after you’ve been being a dick to me for a week that’s your fault, so live with it. Alright I’m joking. Yeah I would tell some people, but I don’t know what I’d do with my remaining days. Probably sleep and pray.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust. 

What if I want both? You can’t have love without trust. Or can you? All I know is that it’s easier to love than to trust.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not? 

Ughhhhhh. Yes I would save the dogs life. Because the dog is helpless and I can help it. Because I wouldn’t stand by and let a human drown (debatable), so why would I let a dog? I’m 100% sure the dog isn’t an asshole, whereas the human could be and may have deserved it. A dog is just a dog and doesn’t have the capacity for evil intentions. I’d explain it to my boss, and if I am still fired then clearly I shouldn’t have been working for such a pitiless, unethical person in the first place.

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? 

Both the same person. But I’ll try to think of it from an outside perspective. To be hurt by the one you trust the most probably doesn’t hurt as much as if it were the latter, but it is irreparable. I guess one would say love in that case. But it depends what kind of trust it is. Trust as in ‘I trusted you with my life’ or trust as in ‘I trusted you with my heart’? Which is worse if they’re not the same person? I do not know. This question doesn’t apply to me.

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say? 

Impossible. I would have laughed if I wasn’t so tired.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? 

Part of me wants to say yes because I really want to fast forward a year. But honestly, what kind of question is this? An hour for a whole YEAR? What can a person do in an hour. No. They’d benefit more if I prayed for them everyday during that year that I kept.

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? 

My friend circle (trio) has the 3 types of person that every friend group should have. We’re all so different but bind together so well. Amazing. In answer to the question, no. There is only one of me and I can’t picture me having a friend like me. I am the only me.

11. Does love = sex? 

No.

12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not? 

If a company wants to get rid of a person, they will get rid of them. There was a reason my boss picked that person and not me, plus they’re not going to waste time training a new person when they have a fully trained employee already. At this point in my life, it’s so hard to get a decent paying part time job. So no. Later on in life, I’ll hopefully have a family too so, unless I can find a better job pronto, still no.

13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? 

Dunno. Yesterday.

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back? 

I love them.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? 

A thing? I don’t know.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? 

My ‘romantic’ love is not just romantic love. It has transgressed this label, the red associated with it is not romance, but a huge, aggressive fire. Or is romance pink? Nevertheless, when I say I love you, I don’t just mean I love you. I mean I love you. Yeah anyway I’ve only ever said those words to one person in my life. Not even my parents or my friends or anything. Ever. Gross.

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why? 

Probably many but my brain is broken right now. Taking a break. Recharging. Whatever you want to call it.

18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? 

Part of me would want my friends there so we could panic like idiots together, and because we could re-enact the horror movies we always watch(????) But realistically, no. Even though the person I would actually want there would probably do something dumb like go straight outside and make me wait whilst I panic to death and come outside too anyway.

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not? 

No. But I’d drop everything and take them to the hospital.

21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision? 

I seriously hate this question. What would I even be doing in order to be in such a situation? Why is my grandmother hovering near the edge of a cliff? Why am I holding a NEWBORN that I DON’T EVEN KNOW? How did I have time to hold the hands of these two unrelated people who happened to drop over a cliff at the same time? WHY AM I ON A CLIFF? Questions??
Even though my grandmother is really old and doesn’t have long left, and is sometimes an old bat, I’d save her. I don’t know this baby. They don’t have memories and when they die they’ll go straight to heaven. Also, the parents taking a newborn to the edge of a cliff would have neglected it so I probably did it a favour by letting it die. You’re welcome.

22. Are you old fashioned? 

Yeah I guess

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I

???? I am never nice to people because I expect something in return for it???? Do people actually do this?

24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? 

True love always guarantees a broken heart, it’s inevitable.

25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? 

That’s for God.

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