HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESS 101

Hahahahahhahahahaha

It’s like asking a fish to teach you how to fly.

1. Mentally prepare for your day the night before.
Get into bed at least 15 minutes before you think you need to just so you can relax and plan what you need to do tomorrow until you doze off. Sure, you can write it down, but sometimes we don’t have time for that. Sometimes, we are tired.

2. Drink a lot of water.
I mean a LOT. Get a glass Voss bottle because a) it’s slim, b) it feels like a vase so technically you’re a beautiful flower and c) it’s not made of that shady plastic that is secreting carcinogenic substances into your liquid. Anyway, it’s not the water that is stress-relieving. It’s going to pee and seeing that IT LOOKS LIKE WATER ALSO.

3. Listen to music.
And it CAN’T be even remotely about love. That is stressful. It has to be about real life shit. Listen to System of a Down. Underground rap. OR listen to Hybrid Theory-era Linkin Park. Nothing de-stresses you like listening to somebody who is MORE stressed out than you.

4. Take a shower.
Not a bath, where you can sit and release all your stress into the water and then absorb it all back again whilst you lay there for an hour tHINKING ABOUT ALL YOUR STRESS BECAUSE YOU’RE LITERALLY doing nothing to keep you busy. Take an angry hot shower because the violent jets of water will strip the stress off your skin and down the drain and then you’ll walk out of the shower into a MASSIVE cold slap. Don’t forget to exfoliate any remaining stress away and moisturise to keep a protective barrier against external stress.

5. Have a journal. 
Oh my God. I cannot tell you how greatly my organisation has improved ever since I started bullet journaling [post on that later, maybe]. It is so good being somewhat on top of things; being able to know everything I need to get done, all my seminars and appointments, all my reading. All the things I accomplished, all the crap I was too lazy to do. It helps in the stress department mainly by preventing some of the stress-causers to occur in the first place.

6. Exercise. Yep, I mean it. Whilst it is stressful just thinking about exercising, once you’ve done it you’ll actually feel pretty good. Do some cardio in the morning to make you feel better for the rest of the day. Lift some weights at night to make you feel better tomorrow. Nothing feels as productive as a sore body.

7. Go to sleep.
Seriously just take a nap.

 

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