What a hiatus that was. Ha ha. Sorry. Permission to slap my idiot face, message me for details.
But now that I have no more academic responsibilities, I have more time to write my woes away. I mean, that may or may not be a really good thing in my search for a career, what with the forcing myself to refine my few skills. Between trying to write a book and applying for jobs that won’t recognise my awesome anecdotes, I have NO!! TIME!!!!!!
Honestly. My bucket list is actually quite short and comprised entirely of things I had on it the year before. And the year before that. And the year before that. Notice a pattern? Yeah, you do. Because that pattern is the consistent fact that I am sad and do nothing good with my life ever.
Well, o brothers, that’s about to change, o brothers. I’m about to become a fine, laughing, life having, all singing, all-dancing piece of crap malchick.
Thank you mr Marko, for giving me the boost I needed to start writing posts again. For now.
I really need a kick up the backside.
Go to the theatre
I tell myself every single year to go. I, a literature fanatic, have to remind myself to go to the theatre. But I never do (honestly because theatre tickets are so expensive). But now I have tickets to see not one, but TWO plays!!!!! This summer!!! At THE GLOBE!!!! #thanksslop
Go to Germany
I also want to go to Amsterdam, but my friends are boring and won’t come with me. So I might go by myself. I’m not a beach person. I’m not a hot country person. In school, I never got the chance to visit Germany. We went to fucking France. I hate France. And it was shit. This day trip to Calais was literally one of the worst days of my life. And I did it twice.
Use scan as you shop
What, man. I’ve never done it and it looks exciting. COMPLETE!!!!!
Find a PROPER job
I mean not retail or checkouts. I can’t stand retail. I did it for four years and I wanted to die. Now, I need to get paid for what I like doing and CAN do. I need real money to fund my real(ly sad) lifestyle. Aka buying all the books and all the food and car shit.
Write a first draft of a book
If this happens, it will happen after I find a job, cos I’m gonna need a lot of time sitting in my fav coffee shop and drinking cappuccinos and amazing banoffee pie milkshakes. It’s annoying when you have a plan written out with chapter info and character sheets but you can’t bring yourself to actually write the damn thing.
Drive down to Brighton
I hate sandy beaches. I hate beaches. I’m not a beach person because I can’t even do anything on a beach. It’s always full of sweaty people playing with a ball of some sort anyway. I hate being in close proximity to anyone with a football, because, like pigeons, there is a 100% chance it’s going to fly straight into my head. I like Brighton because of Brighton pier; because fish and chips and doughnuts. And overpriced sweets. But, alas, parking in Brighton is a nightmare. It is actual hell. It is where the walking embodiments of all seven sins coagulate into one giant clot of 100% occupied parking spaces. And then the only space that is free is really tight and, really and truly, I would rather pay £10 an hour in a car park than attempt parallel parking with an audience into that. We’ll see.