Time is slipping by [Goals before the end of 2017]

Hello, it’s been a while, but as you already know I am a pathetic excuse of a blogger so no surprise there. I have also already failed at Blogmas, but also so very expected of me, because I have about 50 half written drafts that I think aren’t good enough, so I abandon them. I am, however, putting a lot of my energy into something SECRET that I CAN’T TELL YOU ABOUT.

What else is new with me? I am currently experiencing my first ever migraine as a result of a huge life decision I’ve made, I finally had my hair trimmed so I no longer rip it out of my head when I sit down (s/o Slop), and I smashed my phone screen because I’m an idiot. I also went the Scandinavian Christmas Market, post pending. But in a nutshell, I’m living both ends of the spectrum and nothing in between. It’s a gamble. Will tomorrow be unbelievably great, or unbelievably shit? Will I ruin my own life again and wallow in self pity, or will my serotonin give me a refreshing slap in the face? Who knows.

But whatever, enough about me. Here are my December goals. Haha, get it? My head hurts.

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Don’t lose any sleep tonight [Your end of 2017 goals]

Right so I was actually gonna write another ginormous shitpost but I didn’t know if that’d be a good idea, so I wrote this instead. Not as ~juicy~ (I hate that idiot word too), but PROBABLY MORE USEFUL. I dunno, maybe you enjoy reading about me being a crybaby? Let me know x

Anyway. You know what I love doing? Helping people when I’m trying to sort my own shit out. Need an ego boost? I’m here, you fucking beautiful non-snowflake. Need a pep talk? I’m your man, let’s get your shit together. Think you’re being a cunt? You probably are, let’s figure out what you’re doing wrong.

I thought about telling tell you my own end of year goals, but who cares about me, right??? Instead, I’ve used my time to SELFLESSLY compile a list that you, yes you personally, should make your end of year goals. Gawd, the things I do for this shitty ass blog.

There’s basically just a month and a half left of 2017. Gasp. Yes, I know, time is a man made concept. ‘New year new me’ is some bullshit. But I think we can all agree that there is a certain catharsis that comes with the end of a year, with a brand new calendar.

Without further ado.

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The best shows on Netflix right now

I’m not a serial killer.

Yes, Archer is probably my favourite show in the entire world. Closely followed by the Walking Dead. Yes, Krieger is one of my favourite fictional characters in the entire world, closely followed by Daryl.

No, the Walking Dead isn’t on Netflix.

I wish I could be the person who was really interested in only one genre so that you could trust my opinion on shows of that genre, except no I don’t because that would be boring. Instead, I watch different genres, but here’s the catch: I am so hard to impress when it comes to TV. Much like books, I rarely ever finish an entire series/keep up with new episodes. I hate it when people suggest shows to me and tell me to watch them because I’M SORRY BUT I WON’T WATCH IT. Which renders me writing this post a little bit ironic… but I’m never going to watch Game of Thrones. And I’m never going to watch Pretty Little Liars.

There are a few shows on Netflix and Amazon Prime that have impressed me, either now or in the past, and I’m about to list those of the Netflix variety here, because I feel like more people have Netflix than Prime. I also think that most people will have already watched some of what is on this list, but after conversing with a few people who have actually never seen any of the things I watch, I decided to do this.

Let me just reiterate – if I’m suggesting you watch something, you’d better believe it’s really good.  Let me also tell you that I have only watched every single episode of two shows on this list…

Jane the Virgin

This is my newest endeavour. I’ve been hearing so many good things about this show, but the title and the preview pictures made me go nah. It didn’t look like the kinda thing I would like – but no! This is actually really good. I’m only four episodes in, and I love Jane. I also love her and her fiancé. Do they really end up getting married? I’m guessing she ends up with the guy that that everyone is swooning over who, by the way, I don’t find attractive. Don’t tell me anything, I’ll start episode 5 today.

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No one sings like you anymore (20/07/1964 – 18/05/2017)

Truth be told, no famous persons death has affected me.

When I was younger, I thought I cared that Michael Jackson died, but looking back on it, I really didn’t. It was just a shock that someone so familiar, so universally famous and loved had died.

After that, it was weird to me. Being upset at a famous persons death was weird to me; they’re a normal person. I wouldn’t be so affected if another normal person died. I wondered how people cried, screamed, ripped their hair out and locked themselves away when a famous person died. It was so weird.

Whitney Houston died, and I didn’t care about her.

David Bowie died, and despite being a huge fan of his, I was shocked but I didn’t care.

Prince died, and, whilst I was a fan of his music, he was kind of an asshole, so I was shocked but I didn’t care.

George Michael died and I was admittedly a little upset because Wham was played pretty often in my household and at family get-togethers…that and because after his death emerged stories of all his charitable work. I still didn’t care.

I have just never cared.

On May 18th 2017, however, Chris Cornell died.

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I choose to fantasise [Summer bucket list]

What a hiatus that was. Ha ha. Sorry. Permission to slap my idiot face, message me for details.

But now that I have no more academic responsibilities, I have more time to write my woes away. I mean, that may or may not be a really good thing in my search for a career, what with the forcing myself to refine my few skills. Between trying to write a book and applying for jobs that won’t recognise my awesome anecdotes, I have NO!! TIME!!!!!!

Honestly. My bucket list is actually quite short and comprised entirely of things I had on it the year before. And the year before that. And the year before that. Notice a pattern? Yeah, you do. Because that pattern is the consistent fact that I am sad and do nothing good with my life ever.

Well, o brothers, that’s about to change, o brothers. I’m about to become a fine, laughing, life having, all singing, all-dancing piece of crap malchick.

Thank you mr Marko, for giving me the boost I needed to start writing posts again. For now.

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Become the bull

Did you know that people are paying £1.19 for a can of Red Bull, when ASDA’s own brand energy drink is 30p? I don’t even know if there’s any difference. Looking at the ingredients, the caffeine content is the same and Blue Charge is fortified with more vitamins than Red Bull is. Anybody who says it doesn’t taste the same is lying; they’re just brand junkies. I’m not even a fan of Red Bull and I only drink it when I have no choice. Rockstar girl since 2k10 ❤

Anyway what I’m really here for is to make the following, very alarming statement: I am about to consider running.

Like buying proper running shoes and desperately begging the morning air to clean out my shitty mind type of RUNNING. I don’t know where. I will lose my butt and I don’t know how much I care about that. The entire truth is that I was about to sign up for the London marathon. I was so close, I filled in my details and just had to confirm it. But I realised that if October came around and I got the place, I would feel real shitty if I backed out. And not applying in the first place prevents that from happening so… If I’m alive this time next year, I will definitely sign up for the 2019 marathon. I promise this. Right now, though, I’m about to consider switching the stationary bike for some absurdly bright trainers.

Okay what I’m really here for is to talk about fitness, part 1. A few years ago, I had a lot of people ask what I did to maintain my figure. I’m not trying to brag – I’m here to talk about that.

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Things 2016 taught me

2016 was a shitty year. I’ve had some of the best days of my life, and some terrible ones. The world has seen a political shitstorm and many lives have been taken. Changes have occurred, and some people are depressed because they have realised they’re exactly the same person they were 12 months ago. People have come and people have gone. Well, not for me. But for some.

This was a weird transition into the new year for me.

So, instead of lamenting over things that went wrong, things that I want to keep in 2016, and simply remembering specific events, I’m going to think about what I want to take with me into this year. I’m – gasp – actually celebrating it for once.

Here are the things I’ve learnt, and the things that I realised are important.

1] Priorities
You should never be torn between the most important thing in your life and something that pales in comparison. If you are torn, then both of those things are as important as each other. Going to that get-together on Saturday might seem important to your social life right now, but in 10 years, will it matter if you gained a better social standing at the expense of getting a first in that exam, or keeping the person you love happy? The answer is no. Put things into perspective. Continue reading

America’s chickens are coming home to roost

“America’s chickens are coming home to roost! We took this country by terror away from the Sioux, the Apache, the Arawak, the Comanche, the Arapaho, the Navajo. Terrorism! We took Africans from their country to build our way of ease and kept them enslaved and living in fear. Terrorism! We bombed Grenada and killed innocent civilians, babies, non-military personnel. We bombed the black civilian community of Panama with stealth bombers and killed unarmed teenagers and toddlers, pregnant mothers and hard-working fathers. We bombed Gadafi’s home and killed his child. ‘Blessed are they who bash your children’s head against a rock!’We bombed Iraq. We killed unarmed civilians trying to make a living. We bombed a plant in Sudan to pay bac for the attack on our embassy. Killed hundreds of hard-working people; mothers and fathers who left home to go that day, not knowing that they would never get back home. We bombed Hiroshima! We bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye! Kids playing in the playground, mothers picking up children after school, civilians – not soldiers – people just trying to make it day by day. We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and Black South Africans, and now we are indignant? Because the stuff we have done overseas has now been brought back into our own front yards! America’s chickens are coming home to roost! Violence begets violence. Hatred begets hatred and terrorism begets terrorism.”

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